In [2]:
text = open("journalism.txt").read()
In [3]:
print(text)
4.0 Please, read your paper when you drink coffee in the morning. The ritual is a fantastic way to start your day.

4.3 Possible solutions: Government subsidies, philanthropic efforts, the strengthening of local newspapers against social media tycoons, or the acceptance that democracy is dead.

1.0 American democracy is at stake. Yes, democracy!

3.4 Scary corporations purchase struggling local newspapers and squeeze them for short-term profit. They are squeezed more strongly than the bottom of a ketchup bottle.

5.0 The four horsemen of the news apocalypse are agents of catastrophe.

2.4 Facebook is neither a book nor represents your face. 

5.5 The fourth horseman is war. Newspapers are competing with each other for scarce revenue, but we must put our swords down and work together.

1.3 Political corruption has flourished like a faucet that cannot be turned off.

2.0 Advertisement revenue for local newspapers has plummeted faster than a piano falling out of a window on the nineteenth floor.

5.3 In response, ad blocker is a machete in the advertisement jungle.

3.2 Wealthier, older, and more educated citizens tend to read the local news. They experience a stronger attachment to their community.

4.4 In an ideal world, passenger pigeons would still fly.

1.2 The incumbency advantage for overly complacent politicians has strengthened.

2.5 Print circulation for local newspapers is vanishing faster than a thief in the night.

3.3 The most talented journalists have been cut out of their livelihoods. Each day, the knife sharpens.

5.2 The second horseman is pestilence. Local newspaper websites have gotten bigger, louder, and more annoying in order to attract greater advertisement revenue.

2.2 I will admit that Craigslist is better than the job section in the newspaper.

1.1 Citizens are voting less in local elections. The ballots are on fire.

5.4 The third horseman is famine. Money in newsrooms is dwindling, yet nobody listens.

4.1 Do we need a fourth pillar against the government? Or should we focus on building populist walls?

1.5 Citizens are more focused on national news that is perceived as exciting, awe-inspiring, and intense. Local news may be less intense, but the events in your community count more.

2.3 Cute online cat videos represent the end of journalism. Cats are lovely though.

3.0 Local news deserts are areas in which citizens no longer have access to their local paper.

2.1 The Internet has ripped apart the newspaper monopoly. Time to roll the dice again.

4.2 The president has waged a bloody war against the media.

1.4 Civic engagement is tied to local news, but the thread has loosened.

3.1 Local news deserts spread, growing larger than the Sahara.

5.1 The first horseman is death. 99% of all growth in digital advertising went to Facebook and Google.

In [4]:
import random

def randomTime():
    
    rtime = int(random.random()*86400)
    
    hours   = int(rtime/3600)
    minutes = int((rtime - hours*3600)/60)
    
    if hours >= 12:
        suffix = 'PM'
        if hours > 12:
            hours = hours - 12
    else:
        suffix = 'AM'
    
    time_string = '%02d:%02d' % (hours, minutes)
    time_string += ' ' + suffix
    return time_string

print(randomTime())
08:27 AM
In [29]:
import random

print("Yesterday " + randomTime())

lines = [line.strip() for line in open("journalism.txt")]

journalism_random = random.sample(lines, 15)

shortened_lines = [line[4:70] + line[101:120] + line[70:100] for line in journalism_random]

lower_journalism = [line.lower() for line in shortened_lines]

journalism_no_punct = [line.strip(",;.!:—?") for line in lower_journalism]

replaced_words = [line.replace("paper", "🗞️").replace("horseman", "🐴MAN").replace(" cat ", " 🐈 ").replace("american", "🇺🇸").
replace("dead", "💀").replace("book", "📖").replace("dice", "🎲").replace("please", "plz").replace("your", "ur").replace("dice", "🎲")
.replace("knife", "🔪").replace("coffee","☕").replace("you","u").replace("piano", "🎹").replace("money", "💰")
.replace("thread", "🧵").replace("faucet", "🚰").replace("awe-inspiring", "🤩").replace("fire", "🔥").replace("swords", "🗡️") for line in journalism_no_punct]

print("\n".join(replaced_words))
print("\n")
print("• ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ the last local journalist • ₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗")
Yesterday 10:33 AM
citizens are voting less in local elections. the ballots are on 🔥

local news deserts are areas in which citizens no longer have access to their local 🗞️
the third 🐴MAN is famine. 💰 in newsrooms is dwindling, yet nobody listens
🇺🇸 democracy is at stake. yes, democracy




do we need a fourth pillar against the government? or should we focus on building populist walls
advertisement revenue for local news🗞️s has plummeted faster thdow on the nineteenan a 🎹 falling out of a wi

print circulation for local news🗞️s is vanishing faster than a thief in the night
plz, read ur 🗞️ when u drink ☕ in the morning. the art ur day.ritual is a fantastic way to s



• ₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗ the last local journalist • ₊°✧︡˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗
In [ ]: